Life, Mental health, Sobriety

What are you grateful for?

Strange times we’re living in with COVID-19. My husband and I are working from home and the cat is irritating the hell out of us. My gym is closed. There is no goddamn toilet paper to be found at the grocery store. It’s so inconvenient to go to Costco right now (lolz, when was it ever convenient to go there). 

But to be serious, people are sick and scared, and I worry that fear and anxiety is more contagious than the virus itself. For me, getting outside and/or exercising is one of the best ways to get my mind to chill out and stay out of the pandemic rabbit hole. Or just the anxiety-inducing rabbit hole du jour. What I’ve been making an effort at as part of this experiment to be a less stressed-out pain in the ass is to write down what I’m grateful for. This practice was a goal of mine for 2020, one that I’m having a hard time hitting on a daily basis but still see the value in doing. 

Even more so now, when the good things in life are masked with the fog of fear. 

So, what am I grateful for right now, late March, as my 401(k) takes another spin on the economic roller coaster and my 95-year-old grandma remains shuttered in her room at her nursing home and the death toll rises and with knowledge that the worst has yet to come to my area? 

My health. Yeah, I’ve got acne and anxiety–but that’s it. I’m not particularly vulnerable to this virus. If I get sick, life will suck for a while, but I don’t worry too much about potential fatality. 

My husband. This brilliant, science-minded guy is cautious and careful in ways that I forget to be when it comes to keeping illness at bay and contamination out of our home.

My love of cooking. This would be an even more challenging time if I depended on dining out to feed myself (or, were in the midst of a surprise kitchen remodel, which was the case not so long ago). 

My immediate family’s health. I worry for my grandma, even though she is a tough old broad, but it’s a relief that my mother and brother are in good health and not subjects of worry for me. 

My sobriety. I’m three months in and have little to no interest in drinking alcohol right now. It took me well over a year of slip-ups and “fuck its” and regret and feeling like I’d never be able to give up drinking for good to reach this point. I’m so happy to not be white knuckling through the first few days off the bottle during a time when drinking-as-distraction is even more glorified in the dredges of social media and pop culture. 

My dogs. Obviously. They’re the best. Although if you have a dog, I’m sure he or she is pretty awesome, too.

My cat. Even though he is a pain in the ass during business hours and is currently lounging on the couch that I vacuumed less than an hour ago. 

What, in the midst of this scary, strange time, are you grateful for?

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